phespirit.now:   comedy

Year 2007 e-mail salt   (selected amusement from Phespirit's inbox)

13.12.2007   -   [ c/o JA ]	phespirit.comedy mirth factor:

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter. After a while he finds himself in a high class area with big, stately residences, but no pubs, no shops, no restaurants, and worst of all no public toilets. He really has to go after all those beers, however, so he finds a narrow side street with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.

As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby, who says, "Sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really have to go, and I just can't find a public toilet."

"Ah, yes," said the bobby, "just follow me".

He leads the American along a back alley and around to a gate, which he opens. "In there," points the bobby, "Whiz away sir, anywhere you like."

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen: manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom. Since he has the policeman's blessing, he relieves himself and feels much more comfortable.

As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby "That was really decent of you. Is that what you call English hospitality?"

"No sir...", replied the bobby, "That is what we call the French Embassy."

11.06.2007   -   [ c/o CN ]	phespirit.comedy mirth factor:

A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one request."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking, the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take. It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that me and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge??"