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Derek & Clive -
"I Can't Shit"

[ from the album "Ad Nauseam" (1978) ]

DEREK:
MmmmmMMMMmmMMMMMmmmMMM ..... (sings) #I love you so much
#I can't shit (whistles tunelessly)
CLIVE:
#Boom-ba-de-boom-ba-de-boom
DEREK:
#I c- (strains) love you so much I can't (blows raspberry) .....
CLIVE:
#Boom-ba-de-boom-ba-boom
DEREK:
..... shit-t-t-t-t-t-te-tum-te-tum
CLIVE:
#Dum-de-dum-de-dum-dee
DEREK:
#There's hope for me yet (small raspberry)
#I will do it, I bet (small raspberry)
CLIVE:
#Da-de-do-de-do
DEREK:
#I love you darling
#Oh let me get my knickers down
#I-I-I-I love you so much
#I- (strains) can't shit-t-t-t-t t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t
CLIVE:
#Do-do-do do-do-do you can dub over some violins.
DEREK:
#I love you so much
#I can't SHIT!!

Oh, f-f-fucking hell!

#I love you so much
#Ye-e-es-ss
#I've pains in the crutch

#I love you .....
DEREK & CLIVE:
# ..... so mu-u-u-uch
#I-I-I-I ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-an't .....
CLIVE:
# ..... shi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i--i-i-it!!!
DEREK:
(blows enormous extended raspberry)
CLIVE:
You're just saying that.
DEREK:
I don't love you any more.
(laughs)