Derek & Clive -
"I Can't Shit"

[ from the album "Ad Nauseam" (1978) ]

DEREK:

MmmmmMMMMmmMMMMMmmmMMM ..... (sings) #I love you so much
#I can't shit (whistles tunelessly)

CLIVE:

#Boom-ba-de-boom-ba-de-boom

DEREK:

#I c- (strains) love you so much I can't (blows raspberry) .....

CLIVE:

#Boom-ba-de-boom-ba-boom

DEREK:

..... shit-t-t-t-t-t-te-tum-te-tum

CLIVE:

#Dum-de-dum-de-dum-dee

DEREK:

#There's hope for me yet (small raspberry)
#I will do it, I bet (small raspberry)

CLIVE:

#Da-de-do-de-do

DEREK:

#I love you darling
#Oh let me get my knickers down
#I-I-I-I love you so much
#I- (strains) can't shit-t-t-t-t t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t

CLIVE:

#Do-do-do do-do-do you can dub over some violins.

DEREK:

#I love you so much
#I can't SHIT!!

Oh, f-f-fucking hell!

#I love you so much
#Ye-e-es-ss
#I've pains in the crutch

#I love you .....

DEREK & CLIVE:

# ..... so mu-u-u-uch
#I-I-I-I ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-an't .....

CLIVE:

# ..... shi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i--i-i-it!!!

DEREK:

(blows enormous extended raspberry)

CLIVE:

You're just saying that.

DEREK:

I don't love you any more.
(laughs)