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Derek & Clive -
"You Stupid Cunt"

[ from the album "Come Again" (1977) ]

CLIVE:
Hello ..... cunt.
You, hu-hu, you stupid cunt, you just bought this record, this fucking bit of vinyl, and what you're expecting is ..... comedy, or, you know, something amusing .....
DEREK:
Yeah, but, heh .....
CLIVE:
A few dirty words. Yeh-heh, heh-heh.
DEREK:
But there's, er, ..... I think, u-huh, huy, you don't realise that there's fuck all on this side. (laughs)
CLIVE:
Absolutely fuck all. You spent all this fucking money, y-eh-eh, the children are going, going starving, and you've spent - I don't know how much you've spent, it depends on the discount - all you're going to get now is a long fucking pause, you cunt.
DEREK:
Here it comes, cunt.
CLIVE:
Now:

(long silent pause)
CLIVE:
Thought, thought we were joking, didn't you?
DEREK:
Yeah, well it's going to go on now, it's going on a bit longer.
CLIVE:
Another pause coming up:

(silent pause)
CLIVE:
I dare say .....
DEREK:
(belches)
CLIVE:
..... by now you've got so ..... you've got so cross .....
DEREK:
You've put .....
CLIVE:
..... you, you've thrown the fucking record out the window and smashed it, which means you don't even have the recourse to go back to the record shop and exchange it, you stupid cunt! And what's more, because you've thrown it out the window and broken it you can't hear the fucking playback, you can't even hear what I'm saying, you cunts!