Father Ted - No. 1

"GOOD LUCK, FATHER TED"

[ Available on VCI video: "Father Ted - Series 1 - Part 1"; Catalogue No. VC6558 ]

[ With the Telly Eirian boys coming to Craggy Island to interview Ted for 'Faith Of Our Fathers', only the perilous 'Funland' fairground and Dougal's Spider-Baby obsession can prevent Ted from becoming a television star. ]

Gospel according to FATHER TED CRILLY

FATHER TED:

I'm trying to track down this film unit and, er, they'll probably want to do a few close-ups and master shots and noddies and that sort of thing. I don't want to be late on set, get a reputation as a sort of Marilyn Monroe type.

Gospel according to FATHER DOUGAL MCGUIRE

FATHER DOUGAL:

But, you know, "God" - does he really exist? I mean, who knows? Like, I don't know. I mean, personally I don't even believe in organised religion.

Gospel according to FATHER JACK HACKETT

FATHER JACK:

Tea?! Feck!