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English Football Clubs - the phespirit.info rating system

Phespirit .....
supports this club and its glorious footballing traditions: +5
could happily follow this club and cheer its successes: +4
is always happy to see this club do well: +3
has sympathy for this club and its fans: +2
has some sympathy, either for the club or for its fans: +1
Phespirit .....
despises this club as a loathsome tarnish on the game: -5
loves to hate this club and mock its failures: -4
is always happy to see this club do badly: -3
has a dislike for this club and its fans: -2
has a dislike, either for the club or for its fans: -1
Rating
Club Notes
rating: +1 Accrington Stanley Old timers, not to be mistaken for league founders Accrington FC.
rating: +1 Aldershot Town Unprecedented recovery from the depths of non-league oblivion.
rating: -4 Arsenal Unwatchable whingeing, diving, long-ball donkeys; lately French.
rating: -3 Aston Villa Utterly deluded with notions of significance but rarely interesting.
rating: +1 Barnet Ex-Flashman and Fry cabaret club; second stab at league status.
rating: -2 Barnsley Gambled and lost; team of choice for stereotypical Yorkshiremen.
rating: -3 Birmingham City Midlands magnet for their worst hooligan dregs; repeat offenders.
rating: -3 Blackburn Rovers Big games in a morgue-like ground; recent policy of hiring scum.
rating: +2 Blackpool Mortensen and Matthews; ramshackle glory for all nostalgia fans.
rating: -2 Bolton Wanderers Established in the Premiership as drab troublers that no-one likes.
rating: +3 Bournemouth Some good football, good cup results, and a genuine set of fans.
rating: -1 Bradford City Laughably over-ambitious at the first whiff of success; a sad past.
rating: +1 Brentford Deserve credit for community work; otherwise shit ground no fans.
rating: +3 Brighton & Hove Albion Lost their one cup final and dropped like a stone; deserve better.
rating: -2 Bristol City Tainted by predictable ritual violence against their neighbours.
rating: -1 Bristol Rovers Hopelessly second-best to local rivals, both on and off the pitch.
rating: +1 Burnley Big club, laid-low and risen again, with no billionaire benefactor.
rating: -1 Bury Inconsequential now, but won the cup 6-0 and 4-0 a century ago.
no opinion
Burton Albion Brewers made good despite themselves, now waiting to sober up.
rating: -5 Cardiff City Nurtured festering hotbed of hooligans; home of Welsh violence.
rating: +1 Carlisle United Supporters travel enormous distances to see their heroes stuffed.
rating: +2 Charlton Athletic Returned from homelessness to be a well supported model club.
rating: -2 Chelsea Polished turd for Tories and white-collar hooligans, buying glory.
no opinion
Cheltenham Town Relative newcomers, still to establish any noteworthy reputation.
rating: +1 Chesterfield Unlucky to lose the 1997 cup semi-final; their one chance, gone.
rating: +4 Colchester United Essex side resolutely going nowhere and seemingly unperturbed.
no opinion
Coventry City Flirted with failure for decades; finally grasped it with both hands.
rating: -2 Crawley Town Into the league thanks to stacks of money and a tainted manager.
rating: +4 Crewe Alexandra Tiny club with no resources always churning out top class players.
rating: -1 Crystal Palace Refuge for homeless clubs; where volatile Frenchmen get jumpy.
rating: +1 Dagenham & Redbridge Five years late in joining the league; cheated by Boston in 2002.
rating: -1 Derby County Seventies glory, recent highs and perilous lows, but ever hopeful.
rating: +3 Doncaster Rovers Restored from brief non-league lapse, mighty Donny ride again.
rating: +1 Everton Indisputably Scousers but somehow less so than their neighbours.
rating: +1 Exeter City After a five-year absence, proud to be Devon's worst league club.
rating: +4 Fulham Seventies rest-home for faded glitterati; re-emerged and still fun.
rating: -2 Gillingham Unappealing chairman and a ground that can be deadly to visit.
rating: +2 Hartlepool United Recent ups and downs, but historically are perennial table props.
no opinion
Hereford United Blighted the cup with endless repeats of Ronnie Radford in 1972.
rating: -1 Huddersfield Town Consistently unsuccessful since 1926 but act like it was yesterday.
rating: -3 Hull City Frighteningly grim rugby territory with illiterate hate-mailing fans.
rating: -1 Ipswich Town Club and supporters let down by appalling boardroom characters.
rating: -5 Leeds United Repellent club with the most shameful hooligan fans in football.
rating: +3 Leicester City Nice club; no pretentions to greatness but have often come close.
rating: +1 Leyton Orient Capital choice for claustrophobics who like no-nonsense football.
rating: -3 Liverpool Scouse stereotypes relentlessly quoting Bill Shankley since 1959.
no opinion
Macclesfield Town Earned football league status but have not done anything with it.
rating: +1 Manchester City Long-standing definitive under-achievers, now with surreal riches.
rating: -3 Manchester United Boringly successful giants cheered on by shameless glory-hunters.
rating: -1 Middlesbrough Saved from bankruptcy, millions invested but a poor return so far.
rating: -5 Millwall Despicable thugs and racists getting away with violence for years.
rating: -5 Milton Keynes Dons The original Wimbledon was killed, its fans departed, just for this.
no opinion
Morecombe It's taken them long enough, but they're up at last. So now what?
rating: +3 Newcastle United Great Geordie players and a massive support, deserving trophies.
rating: -1 Northampton Town Big, quick, physical team that no-one enjoys watching or playing.
rating: +3 Norwich City Always play the ball to feet; unforgettable win at Bayern Munich.
rating: +1 Nottingham Forest More European Cups than league titles; a Brian Clough fairytale.
rating: -1 Notts County Oldest league club, now defined by a hatred for their local rivals.
rating: -2 Oldham Athletic A charmless club from a charmless town with a charmless history.
no opinion
Oxford United A glimpse of the heights, but mostly languishing in the doldrums.
rating: +1 Peterborough United Unpredictable minnows with a proud history; lower division yo-yo.
rating: +1 Plymouth Argyle One cup semi-final, novelty green shirts, goals by Tommy Tynan.
rating: +3 Port Vale Small, endearing club that somehow beat Spurs in the 1988 cup.
rating: +3 Portsmouth The best support in the Premiership: noisy, loyal and passionate.
rating: +1 Preston North End First ever league champions in 1889, again in 1890, never since.
rating: -1 Queens Park Rangers Uninteresting since Roy Wegerle left; not very interesting before.
rating: +1 Reading Typical nouveau rich club, needed time for return on investment.
rating: +3 Rochdale Lowly club with lofty standards; made the 1962 league cup final.
no opinion
Rotherham United Undistinguished journeymen; made the 1961 league cup final.
rating: +1 Scunthorpe United Staggeringly uneventful existence played out in a nice stadium.
rating: -2 Sheffield United Occasionally battle into the top flight; instant relegation beckons.
rating: -2 Sheffield Wednesday Dull, unglamorous timeservers in whichever division they occupy.
no opinion
Shrewsbury Town Harmless pseudo-Welsh coracle paddlers, risen out of the depths.
rating: +3 Southampton Used to be one part magic, ten parts graft; now eleven parts graft.
rating: +4 Southend United Came close to the top division; back on the Essex mud flats now.
no opinion
Stevenage Time-serving non-leaguers, knocking for years, finally allowed in.
rating: -3 Stoke City Leaden pall trailed by dour punchy fans; not welcome anywhere.
rating: +1 Sunderland Huge passionate support, always optimistic and always frustrated.
rating: -2 Swansea City Slightly less offensive of two Welsh city clubs playing in England.
no opinion
Swindon Town Characterless ex-railway town in no way enhanced by its football.
rating: +3 Torquay United Sunny disposition, but doomed to languish in the lower divisions.
rating: +5 Tottenham Hotspur The very epitome of elegance and culture in the beautiful game.
rating: +1 Tranmere Rovers Third-string Scousers; frequently give bigger clubs a bloody nose.
no opinion
Walsall Black Country town too dire to contemplate; club too nondescript.
rating: +1 Watford An archetypal family club that went mad and blew all its money.
no opinion
West Bromwich Albion Least pretentious of the big West Midlands clubs; no consolation.
rating: -2 West Ham United Faultless traditions on the pitch; rows of boneheads in the stands.
rating: +1 Wigan Athletic Found two pennies to rub together; lengthy crawl to fanless glory.
rating: +3 Wimbledon Beautiful proof, if ever it were needed, that truly a club is its fans.
rating: -2 Wolverhampton Wanderers Always seem dreary, despite bright orange shirts and a golden tit.
rating: -1 Wycombe Wanderers Small but perfectly formed till Renaissance man Adams arrived.
rating: +1 Yeovil Town Out of the amateur league at last but the sloping pitch has gone.