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English Football Clubs - the phespirit.info rating system

Phespirit ..... Phespirit .....
supports this club and its glorious footballing traditions: +5
could happily follow this club and cheer its successes: +4
is always happy to see this club do well: +3
has sympathy for this club and its fans: +2
has some sympathy, either for the club or for its fans: +1
 despises this club as a loathsome tarnish on the game: -5
loves to hate this club and mock its failures: -4
is always happy to see this club do badly: -3
has a dislike for this club and its fans: -2
has a dislike, either for the club or for its fans: -1
Rating
 Club
 Notes
rating: +1 Accrington Stanley Old timers, not to be mistaken for league founders Accrington FC.
rating: -4 Arsenal Unwatchable whingeing, diving, long-ball donkeys; lately French.
rating: -3 Aston Villa Utterly deluded with notions of significance but never interesting.
rating: +1 Barnet Ex-Flashman and Fry cabaret club; second stab at league status.
rating: -2 Barnsley Gambled and lost; team of choice for stereotypical Yorkshiremen.
rating: -3 Birmingham City Midlands magnet for their worst hooligan dregs; repeat offenders.
rating: -3 Blackburn Rovers Big games in a morgue-like ground; recent policy of hiring scum.
rating: +2 Blackpool Mortensen and Matthews; ramshackle glory for all nostalgia fans.
rating: -2 Bolton Wanderers Established in the Premiership as drab troublers that no-one likes.
rating: +3 Bournemouth Some good football, good cup results, and a genuine set of fans.
rating: -1 Bradford City Laughably over-ambitious at the first whiff of success; a sad past.
rating: +1 Brentford Deserve credit for community work; otherwise shit ground no fans.
rating: +3 Brighton & Hove Albion Lost their one cup final and dropped like a stone; deserve better.
rating: -2 Bristol City Tainted by predictable ritual violence against their neighbours.
rating: -1 Bristol Rovers Hopelessly second-best to local rivals, both on and off the pitch.
rating: +1 Burnley Big club, laid-low and risen again, with no billionaire benefactor.
no opinion
 Bury Inconsequential now, but won the cup 6-0 and 4-0 a century ago.
rating: -5 Cardiff City Nurtured festering hotbed of hooligans; home of Welsh violence.
rating: +1 Carlisle United Supporters travel enormous distances to see their heroes stuffed.
rating: +2 Charlton Athletic Recovered from homelessness to be a well supported model club.
rating: -2 Chelsea Polished turd for Tories and white-collar hooligans, buying glory.
no opinion
 Cheltenham Town Relative newcomers, still to establish any noteworthy reputation.
no opinion
 Chester City Unhistoric mediocre club representing a fine historic Roman city.
rating: +1 Chesterfield Unlucky to lose the 1997 cup semi-final; their one chance, gone.
rating: +4 Colchester United Essex side resolutely going nowhere and seemingly unperturbed.
rating: +1 Coventry City Flirted with failure for decades; finally grasped it with both hands.
rating: +4 Crewe Alexandra Tiny club with no resources, always churning out top class players.
rating: -1 Crystal Palace Refuge for homeless clubs; where volatile Frenchmen get jumpy.
rating: +1 Dagenham & Redbridge Five years late in joining the league; cheated by Boston in 2002.
rating: -1 Darlington Big-talking chairman and his gobby wife, failed to walk the walk.
rating: -1 Derby County Seventies glory, recent highs and perilous lows, but ever hopeful.
rating: +3 Doncaster Rovers Finally back from non-league oblivion, mighty Donny ride again.
rating: +1 Everton Indisputably Scousers but somehow less so than their neighbours.
rating: +4 Fulham Seventies rest-home for faded glitterati; re-emerged and still fun.
rating: -2 Gillingham Unappealing chairman and a ground that can be deadly to visit.
rating: +1 Grimsby Town Nothing going for them on the face of it but can be tricky to beat.
rating: +2 Hartlepool United Recent ups and downs, but historically are perennial table props.
no opinion
 Hereford United Blighted the cup with endless repeats of Ronnie Radford in 1972.
rating: -1 Huddersfield Town Consistently unsuccessful since 1926 but act like it was yesterday.
rating: -3 Hull City Frighteningly grim rugby territory with illiterate hate-mailing fans.
rating: -1 Ipswich Town Club and supporters let down by appalling boardroom characters.
rating: -5 Leeds United Repellent club with the most disgraceful hooligan fans in football.
rating: +3 Leicester City Nice club; no pretentions to greatness but have often come close.
rating: +1 Leyton Orient Capital choice for claustrophobics who like no-nonsense football.
no opinion
 Lincoln City Briefly dropped out of the league; missed by friends and family.
rating: -3 Liverpool Scouse stereotypes relentlessly quoting Bill Shankley since 1959.
rating: +1 Luton Town A decent family club, slowly recovering from a sickening takeover.
no opinion
 Macclesfield Town Earned football league status but have not done anything with it.
rating: +2 Manchester City Definitive under-achieving big club; the only team in Manchester.
rating: -3 Manchester United Boringly successful giants cheered on by shameless glory-hunters.
no opinion
 Mansfield Town Antidote to more successful and historic clubs in Nottinghamshire.
rating: -1 Middlesbrough Saved from bankruptcy, millions invested, but a poor return so far.
rating: -5 Millwall Despicable thugs and racists getting away with violence for years.
rating: -5 Milton Keynes Dons Wimbledon is dead, its fans departed - death to this abomination.
rating: +1 Morecombe It's taken them long enough, but they're up at last. So now what?
rating: +3 Newcastle United Great Geordie players and a massive support, deserving trophies.
rating: -1 Northampton Town Big, quick, physical team that no-one enjoys watching or playing.
rating: +3 Norwich City Always play the ball to feet; unforgettable win at Bayern Munich.
rating: +1 Nottingham Forest More European Cups than league titles; a Brian Clough fairytale.
rating: -1 Notts County Oldest league club, now defined by a hatred for their local rivals.
rating: -2 Oldham Athletic A charmless club from a charmless town with a charmless history.
rating: +1 Peterborough United Unpredictable minnows with a proud history; lower division yo-yo.
rating: +1 Plymouth Argyle One cup semi-final, novelty green shirts, goals by Tommy Tynan.
rating: +3 Port Vale Small, endearing club that somehow beat Spurs in the 1988 cup.
rating: +3 Portsmouth The best support in the Premiership: noisy, loyal and passionate.
rating: +1 Preston North End First ever league champions in 1889, again in 1890, never since.
no opinion
 Queens Park Rangers Uninteresting since Roy Wegerle left; not really interesting before.
rating: +1 Reading Typical nouveau rich club, needed time for return on investment.
rating: +3 Rochdale Lowly club with lofty standards; made the 1962 league cup final.
no opinion
 Rotherham United Middle-of-the-road journeymen; made the 1961 league cup final.
rating: +1 Scunthorpe United A staggeringly uneventful existence played out in a nice stadium.
rating: -2 Sheffield United Occasionally battle into the top flight; instant relegation beckons.
rating: -2 Sheffield Wednesday Dull, unglamorous timeservers in whichever division they occupy.
no opinion
 Shrewsbury Town Harmless pseudo-Welsh coracle paddlers, risen out of the depths.
rating: +3 Southampton Used to be one part magic, ten parts graft; now eleven parts graft.
rating: +4 Southend United Came close to the top division; back on the Essex mud flats now.
no opinion
 Stockport County Able to excite consistent levels of disinterest everywhere they go.
rating: -3 Stoke City Leaden pall trailed by dour, punchy fans; not welcome anywhere.
rating: +1 Sunderland Huge, passionate support, always optimistic and always frustrated.
rating: -2 Swansea City Slightly less offensive of two Welsh city clubs playing in England.
no opinion
 Swindon Town Characterless ex-railway town, in no way enhanced by its football.
rating: +5 Tottenham Hotspur The very epitome of elegance and culture in the beautiful game.
rating: +1 Tranmere Rovers Third-string Scousers; frequently give bigger clubs a bloody nose.
no opinion
 Walsall Black Country town too dire to contemplate; club too nondescript.
rating: +1 Watford An archetypal family club that went mad and blew all its money.
rating: -1 West Bromwich Albion Least pretentious of the big West Midlands clubs; no consolation.
rating: -2 West Ham United Faultless traditions on the pitch; rows of boneheads in the stands.
rating: -1 Wigan Athletic Found two pennies to rub together; lengthy crawl to fanless glory.
rating: -2 Wolverhampton Wanderers Always seem dreary, despite bright orange shirts and a golden tit.
rating: +2 Wrexham Welsh small-timers, much loved for their cup wins against Arsenal.
rating: -1 Wycombe Wanderers Small but perfectly formed until Renaissance man Adams arrived.
rating: +2 Yeovil Town Out of the amateur league at last, but the sloping pitch has gone.