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Spurs Armchair Diary

Year 2000/2001   (Phespirit supports Tottenham Hotspur F.C. from the comfort of his armchair)

Spurs Armchair Diary, season 2000/2001. In the run up to the new season it is the sale of golden boy David Ginola that causes disquiet. Nonetheless, it is widely agreed that Spurs have the best squad seen at White Hart Line for many a moon. How would the year unfold? All is revealed .....
2000/2001 Final position:   F.A. Premiership - 12th

Saturday 19 May 2001   [18:30 GMT]

Spurs 3 - 1 Manchester United : The season ends with a hollow victory as half a Spurs side beats a quarter of a Man United side, what with suspensions, injuries and rested players. We've finished twelfth in the league and with a different manager and board to the ones we started with. The best that can be said is that we apparently have some "good youngsters coming through". The worst that can be said is that we've had yet another pisspoor season of almost undiluted disappointment. Take your pick.

Saturday 12 May 2001   [17:20 GMT]

FA Cup Final: Arsenal 1 - 2 Liverpool : Ha Ha.

Saturday 28 April 2001   [17:45 GMT]

Spurs 0 - 0 Aston Villa : And so while other club seasons end with death or glory matches to win titles or qualify for Europe or avoid relegation, Spurs season decides to have an early night. Mid-table obscurity beckons, with the club still arguably no better off than it was in August, despite all the changes at the top. Another "just wait 'til next year" epitaph.

Saturday 14 April 2001   [17:40 GMT]

Sunderland 2 - 3 Spurs : Outstanding! Best result of the season, to come from being two down after twelve minutes, still two down at half time, and bounce back like this away from home is tremendous. Doherty is right up there as a 'player of the season' candidate.

Actually, thinking again, the cup quarter-final win at West Ham will probably go down as the best result of the season. This will have to settle for being best league result, especially coming in the North-East.

Sunday 8 April 2001   [14:40 GMT]

FA Cup Semi-Final: Arsenal 2 - 1 Spurs : Hmph. Whoever said it was lucky for Spurs when the years ends in one? Bloody stupid game. Needless to say Sol Campbell will use this as his excuse to flounce off to another club next season. Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks, bollocks.

Thursday 29 March 2001   [19:30 GMT]

(Sigh) Looks like Hoddle is coming home. Inevitably.

The man will probably be as successful as any Spurs manager in the last two decades, just so long as he sticks to football, talks about nothing else, and keeps that appalling ex-pub landlady out of the ground and away from the players. Especially Anderton.

Saturday 17 February 2001   [18:40 GMT]

Spurs 3 - 0 Coventry City : An excellent result in a fixture which historically has always been a bloody nightmare, with or without a manager. David Pleat has guided the team well today. Coventry are down, shurely.

It's looking ever more likely that God-bothering mentalist Hoddle will be taking over. Phespirit's first choice would be Jurgen Klinsmann, another Spurs hero who is internationally respected, would attract top players, has just completed his coaching course in Germany, and is not on record as believing the disabled are re-incarnated sinners. For a second choice, how about Wim Jansen? What ever happened to him after his one glorious season at Celtic? Again, good credentials, a proven winner, internationally respected. If neither of them want to know then give it to Pleat, a loyal Spurs man who came so close to doing the treble before his previous little indiscretion.

A few words about the new 'Executive Vice-Chairman' - he comes across as a complete arsehole, doesn't he? A real prick in a suit. At least with Alan Sugar, whatever else he might have been accused of, nobody could question his integrity, his honesty, his motives or his business acumen. With this new boy, you'd want to count your fingers after shaking hands with him. Is it possible to oust two boards in one season?

Friday 16 March 2001   [20:30 GMT]

And so finally is George Graham gets the sack - in typical Spurs style - right after his best result of the season. He had to go, though. Remember at home to Birmingham? Remember away to Ipswich? Had to go.

That's Sugar and Graham both gone in this year ending with a one .....
Now just keep Hoddle away.

Sunday 11 March 2001   [18:10 GMT]

FA Cup: West Ham United 2 - 3 Spurs : Woo-hoo!! Legendary stuff! Straight through the quarter-finals of the cup at the first time of asking, away from home, and the year still ends in one. Of course, there was nothing more certain than getting drawn against fecking Arsenal in the semis ..... Bring back Gazza!

Sunday 4 March 2001   [10:50 GMT]

Derby County 2 - 1 Spurs : Back to business as usual. After a reasonable run of matches without defeat in 2001, that's now two on the trot. Spurs fans can get back to wanting the manager sacked, and do so with a clear conscience.

Sunday 25 February 2001   [18:45 GMT]

Robbed! That was never a penalty for Leeds' first goal. Right on the stroke of half time as well, it turned the whole game. Definitely robbed by criminals.

Saturday 24 February 2001   [18:30 GMT]

Spurs 1 - 2 Leeds United : First defeat of the year, first home defeat of the season ..... it would have to be against this set of scum. To add to the insult the winning goal is scored by a ratboy who should be under lock-and-key.

Saturday 10 February 2001   [18:15 GMT]

Manchester City 0 - 1 Spurs : Just when it looked like there was nothing more certain than Spurs making it five goalless Premiership games on the trot, along comes Sergei in the 89th minute to chalk up a first away win in the league this season. And about time, too. Just look back at some of the dopey results we've had to stomach to get this far. By all accounts City should have had the game wrapped up midway through the second half. Too bad for them. We're still eleventh in the table - Phespirit reckons that a finish of eighth would be respectable now, all things considered.

Thursday 8 February 2001   [18:40 GMT]

FA Cup: Charlton Athletic 2 - 4 Spurs : Name on the Cup? Has to be, has to be.
Eeets luhhkey fer Spurs wen tha yeer enz in wun .....

Saturday 3 February 2001   [18:00 GMT]

Spurs 0 - 0 Charlton Athletic : What is this, some kind of record attempt? The biggest bore in football history. For pity's sake, please, someone screw in the long studs and boot Graham's arse out the gates.

Thursday 1st February 2001   [18:30 GMT]

West Ham United 0 - 0 Spurs : A third goalless in succession?!? Fuck. Well, at least it shuts the Hammers fans up for a while. And DEFINITELY Ian Walker should be allowed to keep the goalie's jersey.

Sunday 20 January 2001   [18:20 GMT]

Spurs 0 - 0 Southampton : Oh, stop it, it's just too exciting. Sack the manager and have done with it; just don't install Hoddle as replacement. The man may have been a top drawer Spurs playing hero but he is also frighteningly wacky. (sigh) It's going to happen, isn't it?

Sunday 14 January 2001   [14:50 GMT]

Everton 0 - 0 Spurs : Another tedious ground-out away result. Never a cat in Hell's chance that Spurs might win. Almost too boring to comment on.

Saturday 6 January 2001   [17:55 GMT]

FA Cup: Leyton Orient 0 - 1 Spurs : A good, safe, solid win, with the only goal coming in the last minute of injury time. Bloody hell. Well, at least that's one away win this season. Something to build on? The start of a cup run? Anything is possible with Spurs ..... but if truth be told, probably not.

Friday 5 January 2001   [19:35 GMT]

Spurs 4 - 2 Newcastle United : Delayed report - these things happen. This was an absolute MUST win for Spurs. There are only two guaranteed wins in the entire fixture list for Spurs these days, and they are home to Everton and home to Newcastle, so it all looked a bit dire when 'toon' went a goal up on 22. But then, outstanding, a return to the days Spurs fans have craved for. Football madness, six goals, three penalties (one missed), three sendings off, Spurs run out winners. What chance this turning into a run of form? Actually, next match, Phespirit is quite fearful that Spurs might get turned over at Orient in the cup. Again. Anything but that.

Sunday 31st December 2000   [11:00 GMT]

Ipswich Town 3 - 0 Spurs : And so, appropriately enough, the year ends with the worst league performance of the season, the biggest defeat, the club's ownership in flux, the management position uncertain, players' contracts about to expire and confidence at an all time low. So what happens in 2001?

Relegation is not impossible.
Happy new year.

Thursday 28 December 2000   [17:25 GMT]

So the usual, lousy Spurs Christmas. A goalless at home to Middlesbrough, then rolled over at Southampton again. Just for the record, Phespirit is quite happy for Hoddle to stay as Southampton manager and not come back to Spurs. He may have been a great, great player, but he's as mad as a hatter.

Tuesday 19 December 2000   [18:15 GMT]

Spurs 1 - 1 Arsenal : Same old jammy, spawny, lucky fucking Arsenal, being allowed to equalise with an illegal goal on eighty-nine minutes and several seconds. Despicable set of whinging, temperamental Frenchmen.

And now, at last, Sugar is selling up. This has to be in the best interests of the club and the best interests of Sugar. Make no mistake, the man was a Godsend when he arrived - let no-one forget what a state the PLC was in before he took the reins - but it is time to move on. What Spurs need now is some old minted character like Uncle Jack Walker or Chairman Mo, someone with half a billion burning a hole in their back bin. Someone with a passion for Spurs, for sure, but someone with stacks of cash to throw about.

Saturday 16 December 2000   [17:25 GMT]

Incredible. The bastard's scored twice.

Saturday 16 December 2000   [16:15 GMT]

Is anything surprising anymore? At last Spurs offload that useless waste of space, Vega, to Celtic of all teams - who ought to know better - and the bastard goes and scores on his debut. Phespirit hates him even more for that.

Sunday 10 December 2000   [10:25 GMT]

Bradford City 3 - 3 Spurs : With Spurs 3 - 1 up and less than half an hour left on the clock, this diary entry was writing itself. At last, the first away win of the season; at last, the second, third and fourth away points. But no. It's difficult to see where, if anywhere, Spurs can go and win this season if not Bradford. Derby, perhaps? Everton, with a bit of luck? Disappointment is at least tempered by "Deadly" Ledley King setting a new Premiership record for fastest goal scored: a mere 10 seconds from kick off. Fair play.

Saturday 2 December 2000   [18:00 GMT]

Manchester United 2 - 0 Spurs : After last week's fine effort it didn't seem too ridiculous to hope for a draw here. Back down to earth now, though.

Sunday 26 November 2000   [10:25 GMT]

Spurs 3 - 0 Leicester City : Best result of the season by a margin; a sound thrashing of an in-form side. The away form is still a big problem, though, as is the manager. Seventh the Premiership now.

Sunday 19 November 2000   [18:05 GMT]

Spurs 2 - 1 Liverpool : Ah, right, now this is actually quite a good result. A sure sign that Vega wasn't playing. The next match is also at home, against Leicester, so that'd be another good one to win. It's just the away form that's got to be sorted out. That and losing cup matches at home to shit First Division clubs.

Saturday 11 November 2000   [17:45 GMT]

Aston Villa 2 - 0 Spurs : There's never anything for Spurs at Villa Park at the best of times, let alone on the back of five straight away defeats before this one. To re-iterate: sack the manager. Last Saturday's 2 - 1 home win against Sunderland was, sadly, just a flukey blip.

Tuesday 31st October 2000   [22:00 GMT]

League Cup: Spurs 1 - 3 Birmingham City : Right, that's it, enough's enough. Sack the manager, get rid of the fucking board and, above all, get fucking Vega out of the back four and send him packing back to Switzerland. This is a fucking atrocious result. The League Cup's gone, it's only October, but already Spurs only have the F.A. Cup left to play for. Birmingham City, for fuck's sake .....

Sunday 28 October 2000   [18:00 GMT]

Chelsea 3 - 0 Spurs : Of course, it goes without saying there'd be no joy from this set of bastards. Every single time, year in year out, .....

Sunday 22 October 2000   [11:45 GMT]

Spurs 3 - 1 Derby County : How badly was this win needed? Losing - or even drawing - at home to the only English club without a league win would have been a joke to far. Well done, guys. Now more of the same, please.

Saturday 14 October 2000   [18:10 GMT]

Coventry City 2 - 1 Spurs : The charm of this current run of Spurs mediocrity has now well and truly worn off. Only the faint hope that George Graham is somewhere nurturing a world-beating crop of youngsters can be keeping him in work. This year ending '1' is not looking at all lucky. Not happy.

Saturday 30 September 2000   [17:40 GMT]

Leeds United 4 - 3 Spurs : Obviously Arsenal are the scum of the Premiership but after them Leeds are without doubt the most loathesome, obnoxious, snidey, cheating, fouling, shit set of bastards going. Didn't want to lose this one. At least Rebrov managed to notch a couple but, it has to be said, it's the end of September and already this season's beginning to lose its appeal.

Thursday 28 September 2000   [19:00 GMT]

Fecking useless Lazio.

Wednesday 27 September 2000   [18:00 GMT]

League Cup: Spurs 2 - 0 Brentford : Two second half goals are enough to scrape past the Bees, 2-0 on aggregate. There's not much glory around for Spurs fans at the moment. Nevermind, perhaps Arsenal will get humped by Lazio tonight.

Saturday 23 September 2000   [17:30 GMT]

Spurs 0 - 0 Manchester City : Following the midweek goalless in the league cup away to poxy Brentford, Sol Campbell dislocating his shoulder and out for six weeks, plus every other centre back at the club somehow crocked, this result was probably the least likely outcome of the match. Last season all the strikers were injured, this season it's the defence. At least one thing remains consistent: Darren Anderton is always injured.

Saturday 16 September 2000   [16:10 GMT]

Charlton Athletic 1 - 0 Spurs : What a useless tossy result. Typically, Charlton's goalie chose this match to have a hero's game. The reports had Spurs all over them in the second half, so at least they're still playing well. No substitute for three points against a set of no-hopers, though.

Wednesday 13 September 2000   [18:00 GMT]

Spurs 1 - 0 West Ham United : Always a pleasure to give the Happy Hammers a Monday night clump. Phespirit the pessimist felt shure that Spurs would be undone in this game (West Ham bottom of the table, due a win, London derby), yet the good times continue to roll. Fifth now. Carnt grumble.

Tuesday 5 September 2000   [18:00 GMT]

Spurs 3 - 2 Everton : A home match against Everton is money in the bank. The result was never in doubt, even after going 0-2 down. Of course, four games into the season it's time again for Anderton and his groin to go their separate ways ..... somehow he only ever seems to be fit in the run up to England playing in major tournament. Or is that too cynical?

Sunday 3 September 2000   [18:15 GMT]

So England draw one-all against France in Paris with Sol Campbell and Darren Anderton in the side. Phespirit didn't see the game but noted his morning paper gave Campbell man-of-the-match and had Anderton as worst England player. Strange, as Phespirit was expecting quite the opposite.

Saturday 26 August 2000   [16:30 GMT]

Newcastle United 2 - 0 Spurs : Back to business as usual, then - turned over on Tyneside. Had our chances apparently, but not taking them means we've slumped from top to tenth. We really do owe this lot a stuffing on their own patch.

Thursday 24 August 2000   [18:30 GMT]

Middlesbrough 1 - 1 Spurs : Who would have thought it? This result from Tuesday night leaves Spurs joint top of the league. Woo-hoo! Carnt grumble at a draw, really, but the fact that we were winning at half time makes for slight disappointment. Still, most teams will probably leave The Riverside this year with no more than when they arrived. More excellent comedy from Arsenal: Vieira sent off again (the great twat), plus Wenger finds himself on a violent conduct charge. Ho ho ho.

Sunday 20 August 2000   [13:30 GMT]

Phespirit did Rebrov a disservice yesterday - by all accounts he was highly influential and ran the show up front. Certainly last night's 'Match of the Day' showed he played a part in all the goals. It also showed the ref at Sunderland had no choice but to send Vieira off. No amount of Wenger whinging will undo what was clear for all to see. Same old Arsenal.

Saturday 19 August 2000   [17:45 GMT]

Spurs 3 - 1 Ipswich Town : No bother. After the good pre-season preparation of nine matches unbeaten with only one goal conceded, Phespirit always fancied this as a Spurs home banker. It was a bit disconcerting to let in the fastest Premiership goal of the new season after just nine minutes but, cometh the half hour, cometh the man. Stephen Carr goes down for a penalty and then scores direct himself, all in the space of sixty seconds. New boy Rebrov is quiet by comparison but Phespirit keeps faith that he will have a powerful season. An entirely satisfactory start then, especially with Arsenal going down 1-0 at Sunderland and Vieira getting sent off - you carnt help laughing.

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