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Hancock's Half Hour - No. 7

"THE ALPINE HOLIDAY"

[ Available on B.B.C. video: "Competitions: How To Win Money And Influence People"; Catalogue No. BBCV5850 ]

HANCOCK ON MODERN AEROPLANES

FELLOW PASSENGER:
Windows on aeroplanes do not open. This is a pressurised cabin - if the windows opened the plane would explode!
HANCOCK:
Well that's bad workmanship, old man.

DOG-FIGHTER HANCOCK

HANCOCK:
..... Well the Hun was throwing everything at me, three on my tail, I was looping the loop at a hundred and twenty miles an hour. Only one thing to do: I stepped out on the wing, controlling the plane with my feet, grabbed the bombs out of the racks and threw 'em at him! Did my victory roll over Hendon airport picking up handkerchiefs off the tarmac with my wing tips .....

SHARING A HOTEL ROOM, HANCOCK CHOOSES HIS BED

HANCOCK:
This one nearer the window has the best view of the Swiss mountain scenery, which is the reason I'm here. Yes, this'll do.   On the other hand, bloke in that bed gets his breakfast in bed first ..... Well, when you've seen one mountain you've seen the lot.