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Hancock's Half Hour - No. 22

"COMPETITIONS: HOW TO WIN MONEY AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE"

[ Available on B.B.C. video: "Competitions: How To Win Money And Influence People"; Catalogue No. BBCV5850 ]

HANCOCK PONDERS A NEWSPAPER COMPETITION

HANCOCK:
"Place in order the six best looking photographs of Jimmy Edwards." None of 'em much good here, are they? Still, if you haven't got the clay you can't make the pot .....

HANCOCK COMPLETES HIS FOOTBALL POOLS COUPON

HANCOCK:
..... cross in the corner, I don't want any publicity - get too many begging letters. If they're anything like the ones I send out I don't want to know!

HANCOCK CONSULTS HIS INVESTMENT MANAGER

HANCOCK:
You remember that nine hundred thousand pounds I won?
SID JAMES:
Oh yeah.
HANCOCK:
Well I want two bob of it - I'm hungry!
SID JAMES:
Hancock, we've been all over this before, boy - it's all tied up.
HANCOCK:
I know it is! In little bags in your bedroom!