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Hancock's Half Hour - No. 51

"THE REUNION PARTY"

[ Available on B.B.C. video: "The Bedsitter"; Catalogue No. BBCV4049 ]

HANCOCK'S ORDER AT THE OFF LICENCE

HANCOCK:
Pin your ears back, this is going to be a big 'un, this'll probably clear you right out! Now then, I want: TEN crates of Stout Winter Brew, FIVE crates of Best Brown, TWELVE quarts of Dragon's Breath, TWO barrels of bitter, TWO crates of Danish lager, and a barrel of rough cider.
HARRY:
Cor blimey! Are you going to have a party?
HANCOCK:
No, my grandmother's coming over .....

HANCOCK'S OLD WAR PAL, "SMUDGER" SMITH

HANCOCK:
..... and could he he get the women? Could he get the women!? He was the only bloke who came back from Dunkirk with two women!
SID JAMES:
Two of 'em?
HANCOCK:
Well it was too far for one to row, wasn't it?

"KIPPERS" HANCOCK PUTS HIS FOOT IN IT

HANCOCK:
'Ere, I know what I wanted to ask you: what ever happened to that ATS girl you were knocking about with? The one with the big hooter, you know, the one you used to take out for a bet; she'd got great big feet - ooh, she was a shocker! - what ever happened to her?
"SMUDGER" SMITH:
I married her.
HANCOCK:
Yes, yes, of course, yes, I- I remember her now, yes, nice girl she was, got a very very nice disposition, yes ..... Sid, get us a drink will you?