Hancock's Half Hour - No. 62

"THE BLOOD DONOR"

[ Available on B.B.C. video: "The Blood Donor"; Catalogue No. BBCV4037 ]

HANCOCK'S ACT OF PATRIOTISM

HANCOCK:

I've been thinking about this for a long time. Something for the benefit of the country as a whole. What should it be, I thought: become a blood donor or join the Young Conservatives? Anyway, as I'm not looking for a wife and I can't play table tennis, here I am.

HANCOCK ON SUPERIOR BRITISH BLOOD

NURSE:

Mr. Hancock, when a blood transfusion is being given the family background is of no consequence.

HANCOCK:

Oh, come now, surely you don't expect me to believe that? After all, east is east .....

NURSE:

And blood is blood all over the world, Mr. Hancock. It is classified by groups and not by accidents of birth.

HANCOCK:

I did not come here for a lecture on Communism, young lady!

HANCOCK'S BLOOD GROUP

DOCTOR McTAGGART:

You're AB negative.

HANCOCK:

Is that bad?

DOCTOR McTAGGART:

Oh no - you're rhesus positive.

HANCOCK:

Rhesus?! They're monkeys, aren't they? How dare you! What are you implying? I didn't come here to be insulted by a legalised vampire!