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Momus -
"Harry K-Tel"

[ from the album "The Little Red Songbook" (1998) ]

Lyrics

I hate your famous guts
I know girls are sitting ducks
I know you've got the bucks
But what gets me is you schmucks
Think you can hit on any girl in the world
Without denting your fronts

As if morals themselves are simply image
Like you've got this gold-plated credit card charisma
To cover all the damage

Harry K-Tel the method actor once asked my sister to tweak
His tits while he jiggled and jangled his allegedly undersized cock
I don't think she complied (though maybe she lied)
But for the next three weeks
They had phone sex every morning between Scotland and New York

I hate your famous guts

How he jiggled his cock and tweaked his own nipples
While holding the telephone
Beggars the imagination, truly
But would be a lot more interesting to watch
Than one of Harry's movies