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Momus -
"Miss X, An Ex-Lover"

[ from the album "The Little Red Songbook" (1998) ]

Lyrics

Miss X is now just an ex-lover
As time goes by it gets harder to remember why we split
As I recall the reasons were all small and stupid:

Miss X was doing horse

Miss X wore shiny platform trainers

Miss X more or less moved into my house when I was working on getting famous

Miss X gave me chlamydia then, when I'd been told by the doctor
Not to have sex for three weeks, put pressure on me to fuck her

Miss X, lying beside me when Diana died, couldn't give a shit

Miss X started calling me 'cold fish', 'plank' and 'Mr Limp Dick'

Sex with Japanese pleased me more, I found them less voracious

Miss X meanwhile was fucking her way to the top, working on getting famous

The great love of Miss X's life came back to town, she started to stalk him

There were other reasons I left Miss X, but I've forgotten

Miss X is now just an ex-lover
As time goes by it gets harder to remember why we split
As I recall the reasons were all small and stupid

I miss her