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"Brent Busboom"

[ from the album "Stars Forever" (1999) ]

Lyrics

This chronicle purports to be
A true account for all to see
Of the picaresque adventures
Of Mr Brent Busboom
The picaresque adventures
The picturesque inventions
The life and the opinions
Of Mr Brent Busboom

(The life and the opinions of Mr Brent Busboom)

When you grow up in a hick town
Never let it get you down
Build up all your irony
And bang on a big bass drum
Busboom, a precocious boy
Born in Champaign, Illinois
Compiled a redneck dictionary
Entitled it The Hictionary

(He compiled a redneck dictionary, entitled it The Hictionary)

At high school Brent took on John Flynn
Headmaster and puritan
Who declared 'disruptive to the school'
An oil in the painting show
Of Nancy Reagan on a rug
Upon her head a crown of drugs
Busboom contrived to blackmail Flynn
And the painting went back in

(The painting went back in the show but John Flynn had to go)

At Reno University
Brent showed his true perversity
With a paper on commercials
By the ad man Bill Bernbach
Busboom's essay made the claim
That Bernbach's cereal campaign
Had drawn its inspiration
From Milton's Paradise Lost!

(Life Cereal: as crunchy as Milton's Paradise Lost!)

And if you want to know a bit about prejudice
Just ask an old Creationist
Like William Jennings Bryan
Who got Darwin banned in schools
Brent Busboom, his descendant
Took paintbrush and amended
The Nevada state motto to
'A great place to get screwed'

(So welcome to Nevada, a great place to get screwed!
And never let a monkey make a monkey out of you)

Well he went to work in a burger bar
But he lasted only five hours there
They caught him spreading pamphlets
Saying the meat was human flesh
'Our butchers will recycle you
To make the best of death
Why not donate your body for
A burger made of flesh!'

(A burger made entirely of recycled human flesh)