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Momus -
"Is There Sex in Marriage?"

[ from the album "Hypnoprism" (2010) ]

Lyrics

When women come and see me for sex tips
The one hot question on their lips
Is how to stoke the appetite when it dips
Is there sex in marriage?

Mrs Rita Duckworth from L.A.
Wonders if her husband is suddenly gay
I say the chains of wedlock weigh so heavily
It takes two to bear them, sometimes three

Calvin Coolidge at the rooster farm
The good Mrs Coolidge on his arm
Asked the farmer just how come
The rooster could perform so many times

The farmer said to Mrs Coolidge "My cock's harder!"
"Tell that to Calvin," she said, "he lacks ardour"
"Well that may be," the president replied
"Because it's not the same hen each time."