London [map]

1 Seven Sisters

Seven Sisters is the tube of choice for getting to White Hart Lane, the home of Tottenham Hotspur F.C. (Come on you Spurs).

Unfortunately it is over a mile and a half from the ground - a lovely mob stroll with police escort. The transport links are abysmal.

2 Wembley Park

Wembley Park is the tube of choice for the old Wembley Stadium and Wembley Arena.

Phespirit made just one trip to the twin-towered stadium, to watch England draw nil-nil with Bulgaria ..... so no fond memories there.

Better memories of seeing Happy Mondays twice at the Arena.

3 Kilburn

Not a place with much to be commended .....

..... but the first time Phespirit saw The Fall play a gig was at the Kilburn National Ballroom, so it warrants a mention for that alone.

Kentish Town used to be home to the fabulous Town And Country Club; this was the best gig venue in London until it was bought by the Mean Fiddler organisation, who immediately set to ripping out the red velvet furnishing and fine gold trimming that gave the place its unique character.

They painted it matt black and renamed it The Forum .....

..... a lamentable loss for London.

5 Camden Town

Camden is the North London epicentre of underbelly cool, with an admirable portfolio to afirm its credentials:

the sprawling 'alternative' market;
lively colourful pubs such as The World's End;
intimate gig venues such as the Camden Underworld;
clothes shops, record shops, comic shops;
and so on .....

But on the downside, it can get a bit predictable.

6 Mornington Crescent

Mornington Crescent is The Game.

Listen to The Game being played in all its variations by the Grand Masters of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue on B.B.C. Radio 4.

7 Liverpool Street

Mainline station for the Monday to Friday Cinderella night train out of London on the Tilbury line.

Whilst waiting for his train, Phespirit may be seen ambling around the station concourse, or queuing at the KFC or the sandwich bar opposite the main entrance, or browsing the windows of shuttered shops, or vaulting the barriers to gain free ingress to the toilets.

8 Aldgate

For four months from September 1989, Phespirit took the meagre shilling of Barlow, Lyde and Gilbert, a legal firm based next to the Aldgate roundabout. His immense talents were applied to shifting office furniture and delivering legal papers to the Inns of Court.

Unchallenging work, free of all responsibilities, to which Phespirit would return in a trice if they upped the pay from £4.50 an hour.

9 Tower Hill

It is a shameful admission that Phespirit has caught the tube from Tower Hill on numerous occasions but has never once bothered to pop next door for a look around the Tower of London.

Worse still is the troubling thought that Phespirit would consider it unmissable if it was on the tourist trail in some foreign city, yet its existence is taken for granted on home soil.

Isn't that terrible?

10 Bank

A ten minute walk from Fenchurch Street station, or five at a dash with a following wind and a late night train to catch.

Bank is a well-connected tube that helps Phespirit get from where he is to some other place, and then back again.

That is all.

11 Temple

During the brief time he spent temping as a postman for a London legal firm, Phespirit's favourite destination was the Temple Inns of Court: an oasis of outward calm and a sanctuary from the excess noise and filth that otherwise enshrouds the capital.

Where else to pause for a sandwich than on the benches outside Fountain Court, hand-feeding the sparrows?

12 Embankment

Years ago, when heading in to Central London via the District line, Phespirit would invariably change at Embankment and go north to some West End haunt on the Northern or Bakerloo line.

Not anymore.

Nowadays Phespirit prefers to get out at Embankment and take a walk up Villiers Street, crossing The Strand and passing Trafalgar Square, and walking on and on to wherever he may be going.

It is a good way to get into the mood of London.

13 Leicester Square

Life is packed around Leicester Square. Here are movie-goers and clubbers, theatre-goers and tourists, all roaming about, comparing the sights they see against their guidebook expectations.

Phespirit passes Leicester Square en route to Chinatown and that most praiseworthy of discount record shops, Steve's Sounds.

14 Covent Garden

Going for a drink around Covent Garden might seem like a cheesy way to spend an evening in the city - and indeed it is - but there is no denying the presence of some fine watering holes here.

15 Tottenham Court Road

Tottenham Court Road tube, at the crossroads of the Central and Northern lines, is at the very heart of underground London.

Everything that makes the capital great is just a short hop away.

16 Oxford Circus

Oxford Circus is the nearest tube to Berwick Street: most familiar from the cover of the Oasis LP "(What's the Story) Morning Glory" and home to some of best record shops in London.

It is also home to a noted fruit market and gateway to the heart of Soho's sex industry.

17 Victoria

This grand old railway station is handy for connections to Gatwick Airport and the excellent south coast town of Brighton.

Behind the nearby coach station is Ritzy's Pool Hall and The Ritz all-night snooker club, whose cheese toasties are much admired.

Not that cheese toasties ever improved Phespirit's cue action.

18 Brixton

Brixton Academy ..... not some South London seat of learning but another gig venue that Phespirit has been known to frequent.

A few bands that Phespirit has seen at Brixton:

Cocteau Twins; The Wedding Present; The Family Cat; Inspiral Carpets; Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine; Miranda Sex Garden; Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds; The Sisters of Mercy.

It was all a long time ago now, of course.

19 Hammersmith

In bygone days of supporting Fulham F.C. from the Hammersmith End terraces at Craven Cottage, Phespirit used to .....

get off at Hammersmith tube;
stride out up the Fulham Palace Road;
call in at The Old Suffolk Punch around halfway;
meet friends, have a drink or two, some crisps maybe;
go to the ground, buy a programme, watch the game;
celebrate or grumble at the final whistle, retrace steps;
stop at The Old Suffolk Punch for a final whistle-wetter;
head back to Hammersmith for the West End or home.

Those were the days.

20 Heathrow Terminals 1,2,3

Having enjoyed all that London has to offer, this is the biggest and best way out .....

..... and sometimes it is necessary to get out.

There are many admirable places where one might live on this planet, but Phespirit persists in the south-east of England (i) to avoid the struggle of learning a new language; (ii) to always be within easy reach of London - the finest city in the world.

phespirit.notes: London